Today is my 23rd birthday. Honestly birthdays have been pretty hard for me the last couple years. It’s one more year that I’ve been sick. Every year I just pray that it’s over. The more years that go by and each birthday I have gets harder and harder for me. This year marks the year that I’ve been sick more years than healthy. It’s crazy because I always had that in the back of my mind, that there was more “good” years than bad. This probably sounds pretty sad. Today has just been a hard day on me physically and emotionally. I’m so blessed by such a wonderful, loving husband. It’s just…hard. A girl recently wrote to me telling me how encouraged she was by reading my blogs and it gave me so much hope. To know that what I’ve gone through and am going through can encourage others who are sick gives me a purpose. I’m trying my best to be an example, somedays, like today, are just not the easiest. For my friends and those I don’t even know who are reading this, I pray that you find your hope, not in yourself, not in doctors, not in other people or material things. I truly pray that your hope comes from the Great Physician, Author of life, and the One that is to come.
Wow. That’s the word to describe how I feel. I’m so I overwhelmed by the generosity and love I’ve received from so many people. I’ve never been one to open up and be honest about how I’m feeling and my fears, but I’m so happy after so many years I did. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the love and support so many of you have shown me. So many offers for donations (which I just want to make clear I was not trying to get!!), SO many people praying, so many friends that I haven’t really kept in contact with showing love, my good friends Deb, Kim and Libby got me a happy lamp which I’m so thrilled about! It’s suppose to seriously help with those constant dreary days. I feel so full of joy today though. I feel so blessed. Thank you all so much. And thank You for this beautiful sun and clear blue skies. It warms my soul.
Nothing gives me more comfort than knowing God is completely in control. Nothing makes me happier than the ocean.
I just found out I didn’t get into Gerson. They won’t accept me because i’m too sick. The state i’m in is too dangerous for them to treat. According to them and my other Drs. I should be dead. No one walks around with the number of platelets I have and lives. They say it’s a miracle that I’m still alive with the way my body is. That’s why my treatments are so enforced and encouraged. If i’m not having internal bleeding though I’m just not going to get a treatment. They make me so sick. I don’t think I’ve felt this hopeless and helpless before. I’m truly heartbroken that they won’t treat me. I’ve done every medical treatment out there and have even been one of the firsts to try some. I’m really trying to trust the Lord. I know He has a plan. My Uncle text me after I told him the news and said, “you are very capable. So you can’t feel helpless. What’s the next door to open…”. I have to trust that another door will open. He told me to get some sun, that I’m an outdoor flower that needs to grow. It’s so true. My body longs for the sun. It’s so hard on my health to be in this constant fog and darkness. There’s a chance that Rous and I might get to go to Kauai at the end of March. I need it so badly. I’m going to do everything I can to feel good. The woman I talked to at Gerson told me I should start part of the Gerson cleanse at home. That means all organic fruits and vegetables, and a tiny bit of organic mean (which i’m pretty happy I can have meat!). I’m suppose to have 3 juices a day from a very expensive juicer, I guess you get way more nutrients than my $100 one. I think for now i’ll just have to stick to mine. It also involves coffee enemas (sorry if that grosses you out). There is years of build up of toxins and all kinds of things in my body and it really cleanses it and enables the body to take in nutrients better. I don’t know how hard this will be. I live with two very skinny brothers who eat whatever they want, which is always bad. My prayers are for strength during this month trial cleanse (Gerson encouraged a month), finances for all organic, energy..which I haven’t had any in a couple of months now, renewed hope and for my countenance to truly be joyful and thankful for all things I’ve been blessed with. Counting your blessings in the midst of trial really is some of the best medicine.
let me explain the name Georgia… After Rousseaux got done traveling through Australia and Europe he asked me to meet up with him in a little field in Jacksonville. i was really hoping he would ask me to be his girlfriend. he talked for a long time about things he liked about me then he said, “ive traveled the 7 seas to find my home in Georgia, and you’re my Georgia.” So ive been Georgia ever since. Rousseaux. This man. My husband. Truly my very best friend. Most encouraging person in my life. Brings me joy, hope, love, laughter, patience..lots of that. We became good friends in wood shop class when I was a sophomore and he was a junior. He was one of the only people to get my sense of humor. He got it alright and made me laugh so hard. Basically to sum up our relationship we liked each other on and off for 5 years before we actually dated. He kissed me (my first kiss) 3 days before he left for Australia and well I was in love with him after that. While he was gone he sent me a book called Holiness by JC Ryle. It changed almost everything in my life. It challenged my walk with The Lord like never before. My growth and desire to be more like Jesus grew so much that year. I have my dear sweet husband for that. He cared more about my walk than with dating me, which I now really appreciate! He got back from Australia and we had the hardest dating life! I wouldn’t open up and he wouldn’t commit. He wouldn’t commit because I wouldn’t open up and I wouldn’t open up because he wouldn’t commit.. Typical. Once we finally got it we got engaged and got married! Everyone warned us that the first was the hardest. Was there hard times? Yes, but for the most part we’ve been so blessed to be best friends who love each other and love to laugh! Since we’ve been married I’ve decided to only get treatments when I absolutely need them, despite what the drs say. He’s been so encouraging and loving. So eager when I need to go to the hospital to serve and care for me. Im so blessed to have such a loving and super handsome husband. I want to someday have kids with him so badly. Right now the danger of me or my baby bleeding to death is so great that I just can’t. It’s so hard to hear that from so many drs. Learning to trust The Lord in every area of my life is honestly really hard. But, it’s so worth it.