An Update from the Husband

As I type this, Hannah is lying on a bed in the emergency room a few feet away from me, knocked out from the Benadryl. Across the room is our new friend Libby who is a very kind woman from Ekklesia, our church family, who has been a great friend and encouragement in recent weeks. Hannah called me this morning while I was at work and informed me of her abnormal bleeding and vomiting blood. We rushed right here and were hastily put into a room. They were unable to use her port for her first blood draw (which has been a reoccurring issue) but luckily they found a vein on their first poke- which is a rare treat! Her platelets in her first blood tests were unable to be counted, because they had been damaged and were broken. I don’t know what that means, but her second test results counted 28,000 platelets which would be miraculous for Hannah. Skeptical of the accuracy of that count she suggested a second count in which they counted only 5,000. (If you haven’t read in Hannah’s other blog, the average person lives in a range of 150,000 to 400,000 platelets.)
My phone has been exploding since then from friends and family and even a few unknown numbers with messages of prayers, love, kindness, and support for which I sincerely thank you.
I have wanted to share some things about Hannah on her blog for a little while now, and I suppose this is as good of a time as ever. I’m not sure what she looks like to most of the people who have seen her today, but as I’m looking at her now – sleeping – breathing – beautiful – and wrapped nearly 15 blankets because of how cold she is, I see a woman of unparalleled courage, hope, strength and joy. Let me backtrack…
When I met Hannah in high school…I’m actually not sure exactly what I thought. Mixed emotions to say the least. As I got to know her in my Junior year wood shop class, I found her to be someone of more depth than anyone I had met at our young age. Because of our similar humor we became close friends and it was’t long before I realized her sickness was pretty sever and aggressive. She spent the majority of my first summer knowing her in a hospital bed with cysts in her brain and meningitis plaguing her body.
She recovered months later rejoined school, but she wasn’t able to blend in, at least not to me. She stood out like a light up yoyo at the checkout counter of the Dollar Tree. As I spent ridiculous amounts of time on the phone with her during school nights that year, I connected dots and pieced together a few of the puzzle pieces that helped me understand Hannah- who was an absolute mystery to me, far beyond your average high school girl. Through her struggle against sickness, suffering pain, loss of hope, battling depression, and her frequent rendezvous with death, Hannah had been given a new set of lenses through which she viewed the world. While most of us high schoolers were concerned with being cool, being popular and being on everybody’s “Top 8 Myspace Friends”, Hannah lost interest in all of that. It was both confusing and attractive to a young and immature guy like me who was in the thick of it searching for identity.
With the trial and affliction of being sick, Hannah was given a beautiful gift; her eyes were opened to the truth that there is more to life than this world has to offer. Most people would say they agree and would even say they believe that to be true, but most people seem to have all of their mind, heart, treasure and desires invested in things of this world. Hannah at a young age started to see through the glitter and paint of this world into the beauty and glory of the life to come. Through her suffering I have seen endurance and character and hope produced in her; not a fanciful empty hope, but a living hope grounded in the promises and words of the resurrected and exalted Lord Jesus.
The light, joy, love and life that we all see in Hannah is Christ in her- shining His beauty and life through her frailty and making His immeasurable worth seen through her joyful suffering.
“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18
Thank you all again for your prayers today and your kindness, love & generosity.

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January 28th

Today is my 23rd birthday. Honestly birthdays have been pretty hard for me the last couple years. It’s one more year that I’ve been sick. Every year I just pray that it’s over. The more years that go by and each birthday I have gets harder and harder for me. This year marks the year that I’ve been sick more years than healthy. It’s crazy because I always had that in the back of my mind, that there was more “good” years than bad. This probably sounds pretty sad. Today has just been a hard day on me physically and emotionally. I’m so blessed by such a wonderful, loving husband. It’s just…hard. A girl recently wrote to me telling me how encouraged she was by reading my blogs and it gave me so much hope. To know that what I’ve gone through and am going through can encourage others who are sick gives me a purpose. I’m trying my best to be an example, somedays, like today, are just not the easiest. For my friends and those I don’t even know who are reading this, I pray that you find your hope, not in yourself, not in doctors, not in other people or material things. I truly pray that your hope comes from the Great Physician, Author of life, and the One that is to come.

January 23th

Wow. That’s the word to describe how I feel. I’m so I overwhelmed by the generosity and love I’ve received from so many people. I’ve never been one to open up and be honest about how I’m feeling and my fears, but I’m so happy after so many years I did. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the love and support so many of you have shown me. So many offers for donations (which I just want to make clear I was not trying to get!!), SO many people praying, so many friends that I haven’t really kept in contact with showing love, my good friends Deb, Kim and Libby got me a happy lamp which I’m so thrilled about! It’s suppose to seriously help with those constant dreary days. I feel so full of joy today though. I feel so blessed. Thank you all so much. And thank You for this beautiful sun and clear blue skies. It warms my soul.

January, 20th

January, 20th

Nothing gives me more comfort than knowing God is completely in control. Nothing makes me happier than the ocean.

January 17th

I just found out I didn’t get into Gerson. They won’t accept me because i’m too sick. The state i’m in is too dangerous for them to treat. According to them and my other Drs. I should be dead. No one walks around with the number of platelets I have and lives. They say it’s a miracle that I’m still alive with the way my body is. That’s why my treatments are so enforced and encouraged. If i’m not having internal bleeding though I’m just not going to get a treatment. They make me so sick. I don’t think I’ve felt this hopeless and helpless before. I’m truly heartbroken that they won’t treat me. I’ve done every medical treatment out there and have even been one of the firsts to try some. I’m really trying to trust the Lord. I know He has a plan. My Uncle text me after I told him the news and said, “you are very capable. So you can’t feel helpless. What’s the next door to open…”. I have to trust that another door will open. He told me to get some sun, that I’m an outdoor flower that needs to grow. It’s so true. My body longs for the sun. It’s so hard on my health to be in this constant fog and darkness. There’s a chance that Rous and I might get to go to Kauai at the end of March. I need it so badly. I’m going to do everything I can to feel good. The woman I talked to at Gerson told me I should start part of the Gerson cleanse at home. That means all organic fruits and vegetables, and a tiny bit of organic mean (which i’m pretty happy I can have meat!). I’m suppose to have 3 juices a day from a very expensive juicer, I guess you get way more nutrients than my $100 one. I think for now i’ll just have to stick to mine. It also involves coffee enemas (sorry if that grosses you out). There is years of build up of toxins and all kinds of things in my body and it really cleanses it and enables the body to take in nutrients better. I don’t know how hard this will be. I live with two very skinny brothers who eat whatever they want, which is always bad. My prayers are for strength during this month trial cleanse (Gerson encouraged a month), finances for all organic, energy..which I haven’t had any in a couple of months now, renewed hope and for my countenance to truly be joyful and thankful for all things I’ve been blessed with. Counting your blessings in the midst of trial really is some of the best medicine.

 

My best friend

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let me explain the name Georgia… After Rousseaux got done traveling through Australia and Europe he asked me to meet up with him in a little field in Jacksonville. i was really hoping he would ask me to be his girlfriend. he talked for a long time about things he liked about me then he said, “ive traveled the 7 seas to find my home in Georgia, and you’re my Georgia.” So ive been Georgia ever since. Rousseaux. This man. My husband. Truly my very best friend. Most encouraging person in my life. Brings me joy, hope, love, laughter, patience..lots of that. We became good friends in wood shop class when I was a sophomore and he was a junior. He was one of the only people to get my sense of humor. He got it alright and made me laugh so hard. Basically to sum up our relationship we liked each other on and off for 5 years before we actually dated. He kissed me (my first kiss) 3 days before he left for Australia and well I was in love with him after that. While he was gone he sent me a book called Holiness by JC Ryle. It changed almost everything in my life. It challenged my walk with The Lord like never before. My growth and desire to be more like Jesus grew so much that year. I have my dear sweet husband for that. He cared more about my walk than with dating me, which I now really appreciate! He got back from Australia and we had the hardest dating life! I wouldn’t open up and he wouldn’t commit. He wouldn’t commit because I wouldn’t open up and I wouldn’t open up because he wouldn’t commit.. Typical. Once we finally got it we got engaged and got married! Everyone warned us that the first was the hardest. Was there hard times? Yes, but for the most part we’ve been so blessed to be best friends who love each other and love to laugh! Since we’ve been married I’ve decided to only get treatments when I absolutely need them, despite what the drs say. He’s been so encouraging and loving. So eager when I need to go to the hospital to serve and care for me. Im so blessed to have such a loving and super handsome husband. I want to someday have kids with him so badly. Right now the danger of me or my baby bleeding to death is so great that I just can’t. It’s so hard to hear that from so many drs. Learning to trust The Lord in every area of my life is honestly really hard. But, it’s so worth it.

January 15th

Hi friends! As my first post I just wanted to let you know what my life looks like. I’m 22 (almost 23 in a couple weeks!), married to an amazing man named Rousseaux (Roo-so), his brother, Xavier (Zav-ee-air) lives with us, they both have super weird (cool!) names I know. I spend most of my days trying to find something to do. Cleaning the house, deep cleaning the house, writing letters, cleaning some more, laying in bed, going on Pinterest, laying in bed. I’ve been sick for 11 years now with a disease called ITP. Basically my body sees itself as bad and is killing my platelets off. Platelets are what control bleeding. Normal people have between 150,000 to 400,000. You can start bleeding internally, randomly at 50,000. Mine like to stay under 10,000. So i’m constantly in danger of bleeding inside. It’s so hard on me physically. I’m constantly so tired, constantly concerned i’m going to have bleeding in my brain or stomach. i’m kinda over it. I’ve tried many different medicines and my body just doesn’t respond anymore. I recently just applied at a place called the Gerson Institute. It’s 100% all natural, which my body could use some natural help. Basically what it does is cleanses your body of years and years of filth that it has been exposed to so there’s no room for disease to live. I’m so excited about it! They called today to say my application as been submitted and we’ll be sent to the Drs there, to see if they’ll take me and can help me. It’s 5,500 dollars a week. Insurance doesn’t pay for it of course because it’s not in America and because it’s natural. So frustrating that insurance only sees modern medicine as helpful…or just beneficial for them. I would have to raise $17,000. If i’m suppose to get accepted, I will. If i’m suppose to get the money raised, I will. I know the Lord really is completely in control. If He’s going to use this to heal me, He will. It’s hard for me to not feel discouraged after so many years of trying different medicines and feeling so many years of sickness. Continuing to trust the Lord through it all has been hard and there are times that I truly failed to do that. It made me question everything, but the Lord was faithful through it all. I’ve grown so much and would not be the same person if I hadn’t gone through all this. I’m thankful that i’m not who I once was. I don’t see things like most people my age and i’m able to relate to others who are going through sickness and struggling with loneliness. My desire to be done with my disease has rekindled inside me and i’m really trying to trust the Lord and seek what i’m supposed to do during this time. Right now i’m just taking a leap of faith with the Gerson Institute. Trying to live life day by day and not dwell on tomorrow so much.