February 10th

I’ve had 4 days of feeling “good” and I feel so blessed by that. Today started on the down hill again. Started getting weird pains in my head and immediately started praying it wasn’t anything serious. Man, once I start getting all sick again, it’s just rough. I feel as if i’m going to faint at any second and the fatigue is out of control. I think the thing that I’ve been having the hardest time with though is just the sense of all the people my age not relating at all. It’s pretty hard to make deep relationships during these kind of times when you just can’t understand. I’ve had so much support, and I feel so loved and so thankful for that. I’ve made friends with older women that I’m so grateful for and I love them so much. I guess I just feel so out of place in my age group, but I guess I’ve felt like this for years.
The thing that I’ve learned most from all of this is that the things of this world truly don’t matter. I’ve been having the hardest times watching girls my age struggle with so much vanity. Of course we want to look pretty! Ha I definitely don’t like looking sick that’s for sure. But the countless hours that girls are spending on themselves isn’t worth it. Search your heart. That’s where the beauty is. I know that sounds so cliche, but it’s so true. I pray for the girls of this generation for their focus to not be so incredibly on the outside. It’s so hard for me to watch, and way harder for me to hear. I feel so heartbroken over it. Through all of my suffering, I do feel so thankful that my eyes have been opened to all the vanity that this world has to offer. i pray the same for you. ♥

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This is me tired and not caring 🙂
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