TRUST

The past few weeks have been so crazy. I’ve come to the point in my life where I feel so thankful that all I have is this blood disease and seizures. I mean truly, so grateful.
I just got out of the hospital yesterday. I was honestly happy to have a reason to go into the ER. Pretty weird point in my life where I felt some sort of relief to see abnormal bleeding knowing the hospital would gladly take me in because of my internal bleeding. Hoping that they would be able to figure out these bizarre symptoms I’ve been having. It’s crazy how sick I’ve been and I’m so beyond over it. Thinking i’m going to pass out and not be able to breath any moment is not a good feeling.
I got two of my 6 hour infusions while I was in there, a lot of blood work done, a long brain test, and a heart scan. I see my Dr. on Tuesday and he will have all the results. I want him to find something, anything to figure out what’s wrong!
Two of the nurses while I was in there did not understand how I was smiling and had a glow. I got to tell them of the hope I have. It made me really think and really feel thankful that I do have a true hope. I became so sad though. So many times since being in and out of the hospital and Drs offices I’ve heard people talk about their hopelessness in life and sadness, or their hope is completely in their Drs and the medicine. That would be a terrifying way to live. I know it’s not always going to be like this, I mean I really know. I can become very sad and fearful, but I just have to set my mind on trusting completely. It’s so hard to trust when you’re scared, but it’s such relief when you do. †
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And ps. can I just say a special thanks to Deb,Bogusia, Don and Cheri, Emily, Gwen, Christie, Bailey, Craig and Michelle,Dixie,kelsey, my aunt and uncle, evaloy, the brasseurs, my florida family, Xav, Bleu, My amazing parents and My most loving husband for making me feel supported and knowing they will be there to help if I ask. :)and to all the 100s of people praying,  Love you guys
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