It was 9 years of having multiple seizures a day, 2 years of having over 20 a day. They would wear me out so badly. I couldn’t talk when I was having one, I couldn’t tell whoever I was with that I was. I couldn’t even think of the word seizure after I was done having one. I was so beyond fatigued after one, my whole body just felt so sick. I could barely talk for quite awhile after. I couldn’t eat after. I didn’t even remember what life was like to not have multiple seizures a day.
Today is the 2 month celebration of not one seizure since my surgery. I’m crying out of joy as I write this. I had no clue what it was like to live a seizure free life. Wow, it is so beyond different. I honestly feel like a new person! My heart and head feel so much kinder towards…life! I have a joy that I don’t ever remember having. My desires to do so many things are slowly becoming realities and I just feel so blessed, so thankful, so happy.
The first month or I regretted it badly. Even though I wasn’t having seizures it made me beyond sick. And I was out of it, and so scared that that’s what my life would be like. They didn’t warn me about any side effects, but boy did I have them! Now all that I really have is the blindness on the right side of both my eyes, which I’m slowly getting used to. And the ability to not think of words as I’m talking, ha which I’m not used to at all. I’ve lost so so much memory, but really I’m completely ok with that. I can’t remember names, or a lot of memories. But I’ve learned to write things down quickly!
I’ve desired for such a long time to be able to bless people in a big way. And although you might not think this is big, it sure makes people happy. I no longer charge for my photography. I want to be able to give people full sessions and edits with no cost! I’ve already started and it’s just made me so happy! I’m doing a wedding next month! My desire is to really be set up with a nicer camera and lens so I can bless people in a bigger way. This Saturday I’m having a little shop in my backyard of beautiful clothes and house decorations, to try and raise money for this project I’m working on. Ugh I’m just so excited!
Early June, Rous and I head off to the Mayo Clinic for a couple days for lots of testing and Drs appointments. I’m very curious of what a machine will actually catch in my brain. Is all the seizure activity really gone? There’s been moments where I feel like I might have one, but I don’t. I wonder if that’s actual seizure activity or just my body so dang used to it that I feel that. We shall see!
I have 1 sickness down, and two to go! One of the cures for POTS (heart disease) is working out. I haven’t been able to because of how sick I was. But for the past 3 weeks I’ve been working out pretty hard, so desperate for my heart to function normal, so I feel normal. It’s been just all around amazing for my health and mind ♥
Thank you to all the people who gave us food for a whole month after the surgery, wow was that needed and such a blessing. I don’t really remember most, but just know that I’m thankful. Thank you to the 100s of people praying for me, for all the kind words, sweet notes, loving hugs. So much love to you all ♥
Photo by my dear friend Rachel Haylie. Go check her out at Rachelhaylie.com