The sad thing is I feel like most of my posts are full of bad news. Bad health updates, how depressed I am, just how hard life is (if not I have severe memory loss haha).
This one, however, will not be like that. The 10th of this month was my 3 month anniversary of being seizure free. Just writing that makes me cry. I truly had no idea what a life was like without so many seizures a day. And the crazy thing is when they were testing me, even when I wasn’t feeling my seizures, there was still soooooo much seizure activity going on. So I always felt so sick for a good reason, so much activity going on there!
Well, Rous and I got back from our trip to the mayo a couple days ago. I’ve had so many people asking how it went, and I’m so bad at explaining things using my mouth now. Part of my brain that they burned off was the ability to think of words, thankfully I’m on a computer now and can take my sweet time, but when I talk to people it is such a struggle for me. So here is the little update….
Every MRI, ct scan, EEG (that’s basically all brain testing) that they did on me, came back completely seizure free. Zero seizure activity! My Drs. were even impressed by that. They thought I’d still be having at least one a week, but nope none. My sweet Neurologist says in about 3 months she will start weening me off my high dose of meds. At first I was a little bummed that it wouldn’t be right away, but I think I can wait 3 more months. She just wants to be extra careful with me and I’m so beyond grateful for the care i’ve received from her. They want me to see a speech therapist so I’ll hopefully be able to relearn how to communicate.
The hard thing is my blindness is still strongly there. Hasn’t exactly improved. Both eyes are now 25 percent blind. I’m slowly getting used to it, but still hoping that it comes back. My short term memory is significantly worse. They told me it would be, but wow they really burned off almost all of it. I feel so bad because I can’t remember anyone. Who they are, what their name is, memories of us. It’s crazy. The funny thing is I have had so many people say, “Hey my memory is just as bad and I didn’t have surgery.” I’m laughing now just writing this because no, no it’s not. Ha people don’t know what it’s like to have that burned off. I know so many people say things like that to try and relate, but it’s just hard to hear so much. I almost didn’t write this, but I thankfully can’t remember anyone who said it, I just know it’s been said to me so much. So I guess that’s a plus with memory loss :)Tee hee. And don’t be upset if you did say it!
This trip to the Mayo was seriously such a huge blessing to both Rous and myself. It was honestly just full of joy and real blessing from the Lord. I got to see a very dear friend, her name is Hope. Of course it is 🙂 I met her last time I was there and we got to talk about brain problems. That woman has suffered so much. She has had soooo many surgeries on her brain. And she even has my heart disease, POTS. I just am so blessed to know someone who truly understands what it likes to suffer in my way. People who have hard health issues definitely get this! This is Hope, and I’m asking you right now to just lift this amazing woman up in prayer. Pray for strength, peace, joy and healing. Prayer is so powerful! ♥
One of the days Rousseaux and I went into Starbucks and sat down at a table. I of course wanted to be in the sun so I had us move to a long table. There was a man sitting at the far end of it working on his laptop. We were there a couple minutes and the man says to me that I should get out of the sun. I told him how much I love being in the sun. A few minutes later we start opening up to each other…Why we were in Arizona, what I just went through. He turns his computer to us and what do you know he was in the process of studying? Focal seizures! My ex seizures! We were all so blown away by it. He is on his last steps of becoming a neurologist! We moved down by him and just started talking about life. It was his birthday, and he’s so far away from his family. He felt so blessed by us. And we thought it was so special to meet him. One of the sweetest most genuine, Jesus loving men we’ve met. We knew that was the Lord. We had breakfast with him the next morning and he drove us around showing us neat things there.His name is Giorgio. Which was even funnier to us because Rousseaux and I have a nickname for each other called Georgieaux, pronounced the same.
The rest of the trip was talks of the future. What will life be like now without this? Do I have my blood disease? Yes. But I have had no serious bleeding in months! Do I have my heart disease? Yes. But I’m slowly trying to get used to it by ignoring and not fearing the symptoms that I get. We want to travel. I want to go to Australia! I first knew I was in love with Rous when he was living there and I was here, it’s so special to us. I have my first job that I love so much. I wanted to stop after my first day because I had never done so much or anything like that. My amazing boss said that I could, I could go home and get back on the couch all day. Or I could step out and try this. Wow, that blew my mind and encouraged me to keep going, and i’m so thankful that I have.
Here is my beautiful Neurologist!
A little post I did after seeing my surgeon:
Today I got to see my amazing surgeon, of course I started crying when I saw him. The Lord used him to totally take away my seizures! He said he was so so happy for me, and how sad he was of how sick and depressed I got after surgery. He kept reiterating how excited he was for my recovery and how different my life is going to be, starting at 25 being new. And how thankful he is to be able to do what he does to help me. Thank you sweet Dr. Zimmerman
It’s been on my heart for awhile now, and just recently I really felt called to write a little book about my struggles, battles, hardships, and joy that I’m able to have through it all. Since going through such hard things since a young age, my prayer has always been that the Lord will use me to be a light and example to others who are battling such hardships. Now that I’m starting a new season of my life I feel it is time to start on this book. The crazy thing is I was at work, and my old Pastor Peter-John came in. I was just thinking about contacting him the day before because he wrote a book, and his testimony of what he’s been through touched me so much. I told him that I was thinking about it and he said he didn’t think he was suppose to be in the store to buy something, but to tell me that I absolutely am suppose to write a book! So well, that’s confirmation for me alright! If you have any wisdom, knowledge advice please please contact me.
My friend Amy, has started a fundraiser for me. As most of you know brain surgery, drs appointments, massive amounts of testing and traveling back and forth can be expensive. If you feel led to give even a tiny bit it would bless us so much. We fully know the Lord will provide and that thankfully gives us peace. Click here for the link 🙂
As most of you know I’ve wanted to meet Ellen and give her a hug. Thanking her for all the laughter she’s brought me through so many days of sorrow. I have not heard from her yet, but we made another video to hopefully get in contact with her…
Here is our new video, I can now sing from surgery!!