Trials 

I’ve been thinking a lot about my little journey through life. It’s been actually crazy. I turned 25 this year and have been through so stinking much. All of it has made me change and grow so much. I’m not the same person I was 10 years ago, 5 years ago, even a year ago. (Just ask Rousseaux)
Struggles, trails, burdens, they really do change you. Hopefully they strengthen you. Hopefully they make your faith strong. Hopefully they open your eyes to all the vanity in this world. Even as a young girl I was changing into a woman with eyes open to this vain world we’re in.
I remember one day when I was getting one of my 8 hour infusions. These two people next to me who were also getting treatments. Asked me how I was smiling. Why was I smiling? We’re in a terrible place going through terrible things. The lady was in her 40s and the man was a bit older. They had so much bitterness about the journey that they were in. I got to tell them about my faith and hope in Christ. I got to tell them that this isn’t the end, this isn’t all our life is about. They were in shock at such a young girl saying that. Now I’m not telling you this out of pride I’m trying to encourage you to learn from the trials that we go through!
My mom sent me a little video of the names of the people who came to visit me 9 years ago (ok I’m already crying again) when I had meningitis and encephalitis. When I was dying. I didn’t remember any of the people on the list besides Rousseaux, Robby and Forrest. But I was SO blown away by all the people who came. So many people I would never expect. It made me feel so loved and cared for.
It’s crazy that 9 years ago I went through that terrible trial, which led me to this past trial of brain surgery. To remove the scar that was left from that time. To start a new life, really, from taking away the burden that that time left on my life.
I was sitting with my dear friend, Amy (her story will be here soon ❤️) the other day. She turned to me and said, “Hannah, isn’t it crazy that you just had brain surgery?”. Gosh it made me feel so good to have someone say that. Everyday I think about it. Everyday I’m blown away that I went through that already. And it’s like it never happened. But to me it did and it was so big. It was life changing. Plus how many 25 year olds, or most people can say that they’ve had that done? Probably not too many.. All the Drs tell me I’m “special”. Ha not a compliment those times.
I hated all of these times. All the physical pain, heartache, depression, anxiety, feeling completely depleted. But I can say now that I’m kinda glad to have gone through this journey. I’ve been able to connect and encourage so many others who’ve battled with their health, and I truly want to be used to be a light to so many with my story!
Am I all better? No. I still have my little blood disease. Still have my heart disease which kinda kicked back in hard and sadly has made me not be able to work at my favorite little store. But I know there is a plan for my life. I know there’s a flexible job out there for me. I know there’s a plan for my life. I hope you know there’s a plan for yours, to bring you peace and not evil. There is a future and a hope ❤️
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