I’ve been thinking a lot about my little journey through life. It’s been actually crazy. I turned 25 this year and have been through so stinking much. All of it has made me change and grow so much. I’m not the same person I was 10 years ago, 5 years ago, even a year ago. (Just ask Rousseaux)
Struggles, trails, burdens, they really do change you. Hopefully they strengthen you. Hopefully they make your faith strong. Hopefully they open your eyes to all the vanity in this world. Even as a young girl I was changing into a woman with eyes open to this vain world we’re in.
I remember one day when I was getting one of my 8 hour infusions. These two people next to me who were also getting treatments. Asked me how I was smiling. Why was I smiling? We’re in a terrible place going through terrible things. The lady was in her 40s and the man was a bit older. They had so much bitterness about the journey that they were in. I got to tell them about my faith and hope in Christ. I got to tell them that this isn’t the end, this isn’t all our life is about. They were in shock at such a young girl saying that. Now I’m not telling you this out of pride I’m trying to encourage you to learn from the trials that we go through!
My mom sent me a little video of the names of the people who came to visit me 9 years ago (ok I’m already crying again) when I had meningitis and encephalitis. When I was dying. I didn’t remember any of the people on the list besides Rousseaux, Robby and Forrest. But I was SO blown away by all the people who came. So many people I would never expect. It made me feel so loved and cared for.
It’s crazy that 9 years ago I went through that terrible trial, which led me to this past trial of brain surgery. To remove the scar that was left from that time. To start a new life, really, from taking away the burden that that time left on my life.
I was sitting with my dear friend, Amy (her story will be here soon ❤️) the other day. She turned to me and said, “Hannah, isn’t it crazy that you just had brain surgery?”. Gosh it made me feel so good to have someone say that. Everyday I think about it. Everyday I’m blown away that I went through that already. And it’s like it never happened. But to me it did and it was so big. It was life changing. Plus how many 25 year olds, or most people can say that they’ve had that done? Probably not too many.. All the Drs tell me I’m “special”. Ha not a compliment those times.
I hated all of these times. All the physical pain, heartache, depression, anxiety, feeling completely depleted. But I can say now that I’m kinda glad to have gone through this journey. I’ve been able to connect and encourage so many others who’ve battled with their health, and I truly want to be used to be a light to so many with my story!
Am I all better? No. I still have my little blood disease. Still have my heart disease which kinda kicked back in hard and sadly has made me not be able to work at my favorite little store. But I know there is a plan for my life. I know there’s a flexible job out there for me. I know there’s a plan for my life. I hope you know there’s a plan for yours, to bring you peace and not evil. There is a future and a hope ❤️
It’s been 3 years of my blog being up. I’ve met so many people from it, been encouraged and have encouraged so many people through it. My story has been all over the world, literally. It shows where the views come from and over 100 different countries have read this. I’ve been so blessed to be able to tell my journey. The hope, faith, and even despair has been so good for me to pour out.
It’s been on my heart to get other peoples stories here. So many people have been through hard times in their life, and I want their journey and what they learned from it. To be an encouragement as well. I’ve reached out to many people I know who have been through and are going through hardness, they’ve willingly joined me in sharing their story. May at least one person be inspired, encouraged, given hope by their story. Once a month a new face and life will be shown here. If you have one or know of anyone who would like to share please contact me 🙂
My first one I have is from my friend Ruby. We’ve been good friends for over 12 years. We’ve been through so so much together. In fact 2 days ago, I was getting so sick and Ruby came with me to the ER. To have a friend by my side in the ER who understands everything, does my heart so much good. Sadly she gets it all. But it blesses me to have her with me. Thank you so much for being there for me, Rubes. Her mom and I used to sit by each other during treatments. There would be so much tears and laughter, and I was always so encouraged by the joy she would bring me during those hard times. I love Shaun, and I can’t wait to laugh with her again someday soon ♥
“I don’t even know where to begin.
I’ve honestly have had such a crazy life.
So crazy that most people don’t believe me, but that’s their choice.
I’ll start with this: I am a Christian & have been for 16 years.
My life was hard before I was a Christian & my life got harder after I become one too, so don’t think that Christians are perfect in any way…they’re just as human as the next person.
I know what it’s like to be raised by my grandparents,
I know what it’s like to be bullied at school,
I know what it’s like to be well off,
I know what it’s like to be completely poor & living off food stamps,
I know what it’s like to be raised by a single mom,
I know what it’s like to feel absolutely amazing,
I know what it’s like to be completely rejected by someone that you love.
If you’ve gone through it, I honestly might understand.
I’ve only been alive for 26 years & I feel like I’ve gone through so much, but feel so young.
Through all the things that I’ve been through I can honestly say that what happened to me 3 years ago had the greatest effect on my life.
3 years ago I lost my mom to cancer.
She wasn’t just my mom, she was more like my big sister. We were the real life Gilmore Girls.
My mom had cancer for 33 years. She had cancer for my whole entire life, but you would have never known that because she never let her cancer get her spirit.
She was, and is still to this day, the strongest person I know. She lived life to the absolute fullest.
I don’t think she was afraid of anything, or at least, she never let me know that.
Its funny to think how someone who was dying right before my eyes taught me how to live my life to the fullest.
She taught me how to cling to Jesus and that if you truly desire to have a full life it can only be found in Him.
In January of 2013 we found out that the cancer had spread to her brain & that she only had 3 to 4 months left.
Still…to this very day…I’ll have flash backs of that very moment in time when I found out, and it still hurts. I think it’ll always hurt. The only thing that has changed is how I’ve reacted to it.
The first time I felt like my heart exploded, the fifth time it had slowly turned into me just crying.
I’m sure that some of you reading this out there know what its like to watch someone you love pass away…whether you believe in Jesus or not it’s always going to feel the exact same way…hellish.
Those next 4 months of my life have forever changed me.
In good ways,
In bad ways,
and in ways I don’t even know about yet.
Change is hard, change is scary, change is good, change is healthy.
In those 4 months I saw, I felt, I endured
I wanted to give up every single day.
I didn’t want to talk,
I didn’t want to eat,
I just didn’t.
I was broken and that’s ok.
I bet you’ve never heard anyone say that before? Our generation is strange…we’re terrified of being broken, but it needs to happen.
My mom’s passing broke me.
But, it was in these 3 years that I’ve experienced Jesus in ways I’ve never known to be possible.
In these 3 years He has truly shown Himself so faithful.
I just recently graduated Bible College in December 2015.
It’s there that He let me go through my grieving process & come to a deeper knowledge of the depth of His love for me.
I never fully understood the depth of His love, I don’t know if I ever fully will, but I got a little bit more of an understanding then before.
It’s at Bible College that I learned of my calling in life and my purpose: to love the unloved, to care for the uncared for, to show kindness to the unkind, to be bold in my faith, and to just simply be an example of Christ.
I know that if I never went through the struggle of losing my mom, or any of the other rough times that have happened, that I wouldn’t be the person that I am today.
Mind you, the moment when everything was happening to me, I was not happy, nor could I understand why in the world everything was happening.
It’s only now that I can look back and see that He made me for this very moment.
I truly believe that we go through hard times so that we can grow closer to Christ, and to be there for someone else in our future.
You know those people that you meet who completely understand you because they’ve gone through the same thing as you? Do you remember that feeling of, “Wow, They totally get me!”
That moment was brought to you by Jesus. He had that happen for a reason.
We go through everything for a reason.
Everything has a purpose.
The real question is this: are you seeing your life as “your own life” or “your life being used for Christ”?
I see my life constantly being used for His glory.
Its truly now my great pleasure to be there for others, to let them know that they aren’t alone, & that they have a sister in Christ that is truly praying for them, & that He is near those who are broken.
I want to encourage you, my friend, to not give up.
You can do it.
I have faith in you! And most importantly, I have faith in Jesus that He won’t ever give up on you because He truly cares for you!”
Written by beautiful, Rubes
Hello my wonderful friends!
This new season of my life has been pretty crazy, and dare I say wonderful?! I’ve been so blessed by all the love and support I’ve had. I’ve been so truly blessed to have a life that’s waaaaay more normal than the one I was living. Seizure free, has abled me to start living the life I’ve always dreamed of.
I’m able to have my first job at my most favorite store, Terra Firma Home. Every time I’m there I’m so full of joy. I’ve never have been able to be around people, and meet so so many new people. The only time I was around new (ish) people, was church, and Doctors/hospital visits. So this has brought me so much joy to meet new people, and talk with them.
Rous, and I have been talking about all the plans for the future that we’re now able to do. It’s so crazy. We didn’t realize how held back we were, until I was free of this. The other night at 8 PM we spontaneously drove to the coast, went to bed in our Subaru in the back, woke up at 5 to watch the sunrise.. Of course it was too cloudy and foggy so we explored the ocean. Had such good quality time. We’ve never been able to do things like that because I was too sick. Did this make me extra tired? Yes, but my seizures didn’t double up because of the lack of sleep. Now we can’t wait to see what the future hold for us!
I’ve alway have had a desire to truly be a light to this world. I’ve learned so much from all of this, and want to inspire girls, and others who are suffering. Since having more energy and the ability to do more things, this desire has really increased. I’ve been reaching out to so many people to encourage and help, with just life, and I’m so grateful for it.
I want to share my story with so many, but have never really been able to grasp how. A little over a year ago this article I wrote at Darling Magazine, was chosen to be featured. It’s been so encouraging to me to remember that that happened. I love Darling, and the message they portray of natural, and healthy beauty. I hope to get more involved with them and other businesses like that. If you have any advice please contact me ♥
I have so many dreams for life, and I slowly feel like things are coming forth. I know so many of us have dreams and desires, and we just think that they will never happen so we don’t take a leap of faith. Well, I’m telling you, as a girl who suffered so badly from seizures. And was unable to do so much with my life. Is now taking my leap into new beginnings, you should too! I still have two diseases, but I really want to experience life, so I’m not letting those drag me down.
I hope and pray that you take your leap of faith. If you want to talk more please contact me. ♥
Click HERE to read the Darling post.