Reality Of My Life

Waking up at 4 am with my heart going wild over life is hard (anxiety, stress and this wild heart disease). Why can’t everything be ok?

I never thought I’d still be a sick girl by now.

It’s actually a very, alone battle to be suffering for so long. Not having people understand… me looking “normal.

Every single day I wake up not knowing if it’ll be a “good” day or a sick day. It can change within seconds in my body too.

But I know, I look “normal”.

I went to my high school reunion two nights ago. It was a lot of emotions for me in a lot of ways. I was so sick in high school… that’s when I had meningitis… and I’m still dealing with it.

I’m still struggling that battle.. 10 years later?!

So many said how great I look and that I must be better than what they’ve heard of me online…

It’s crazy, that the day before at the same time I was in the er. My vertigo was crazy. The cyst on my head had increased a bit and my hemotologist was concerns that it had grown more on my brain and that’s what’s been causing all my messed up symptoms for the 2 months.

I was scheduled to get the mri today, but the way I felt had to be done. I had to get the results figured.

I remember laying in the bed just feeling so alone. Rous was with me and I appreciate him so much. But alone to the fact that it’s my whole body…. my whole body has been doing this er thing since I was 12? Why?

Why am I getting multiple mris a year for my brain? Why do my platelets still drop terribly low? Why do I feel so sick and messed up so many days?

But I look great right? I’m not sick anymore right? It could be worse right?

If you felt how I felt you wouldn’t ask me things like that. You wouldn’t assume you know how I’m physically and even mentally feeling.

It’s a battle in both ways.

Right before I was getting my mri, the man running the whole thing kept calling me friend, kept being caring, genuine, sorry I’m doing this (after reading my history he said). He changed how I emotionally felt with it all. He made me feel understood that I’m sick, cared for that I’m sick, ACKNOWLEDGING that my life has been hard and this suffering is very real.

I remember listening to Citizens and Saints as the whole mri noises are blaring in my head and I was crying, I felt so cared for my this random man? Why can’t I feel understood by those I know? Why did a man I just met understand I’m still sick and have been for so long?

My spirit was lifted in the midst of that mri. I felt thankful to God that He allowed me to meet that man. I told him after how much I genuinely appreciate the care that he gave me, the words that he said.

It’s so hard feeling so misunderstood with my health battle.

Just to have a few in my corner understand means so much for my being. Just to acknowledging that this is a struggle and they feel for me, care for me, understand I’m sick… means so much.

I’m still struggling with the severe trauma from the last brain surgery. My drs didn’t think it would be that bad…. it’s made me a different person. Good and hard ways. The Lord will use it and already has in SO many ways… that still makes it hard though.

Laying down on the couch all day is weekly, appointments are weekly, checkups are weekly, dr calls are weekly, er visits are often.

That’s my life. The reality is I’m suffering. The reality is I’m sick. The reality is about 4 people understand (not including Drs, nurses, counselors). Imagine going through so much sicknesses and only saying 4 people get it? It’s hard. It hard to my heaviness of feeling alone with it all.

Please stop asking when I’m having a baby. Please stop saying you’re so happy I’m not sick anymore. Please stop saying at least I’m pretty (makes me sick to my stomach even being reminded of people saying that). Please stop saying it could be worse. Please stop telling me to just smile more.

Please cry with me. Please a-knowledge that I’m still sick. Please feel sadness for each health event I have. Please don’t have your prayer be for kids but for my HEALTH. Please know my faith and trust in God is so much greater from all the sorrow that continues. Please don’t look at me and assume “I’m fine”. Please don’t compare. Please don’t give me advice. Please know it’s a continual battle. Everyday.

Well, it’s now 5:19 am. Maybe today I’ll feel “good”. ❤️

Advertisements

I am thankful….

I am thankful…..

Able to drive after a year ❤️

That spring is now here.

My love for creating photos.

My sweet Dr who has given me to brain surgeries with care.

The ability to go to morning worship every single morning.

The older men in my life who I cling to, full respect, trust and wisdom that is needed from us all.

Living right by the beach for 6 months 😍

My Hemo/onco Dr since I was 16 and has cared for me and watched me go through so much, with love. And my sweetheart Dr since 12 is beyond still loving to me ❤️😭

My complete belief, hope, trust in Jesus Christ. My Savior, my Rock.

Finally able to start making actual food after a year of my brain not able to, and it’s so healthy and yummy!

The fun I have with creating our home 😍

My sweet Deb Larson in Eugen( hardest place to live for me) who would care for me and show me love SO much!

Able to have a small job as working with so many brands on my Instagram… for income! 🙌🏼 (sorry to the ones who think all photos of me advertising is bad 😂)

How even more clearer things about life has come to me such an intense year. ❤️

Having the best tenants who are some of the dearest friends 😭

My nurses over at DUBS

Peonies just bought and knowing they’ll bloom soon 😍

My husband truly desiring the Lord, growing so much more than I’ve ever seen, a genuine love to the Lord and me, so many gifts and skills that he’s beyond good at, the fact that we’ve been married almost 7 years!

Drinking coffee every single day 🙌🏼🤤❤️

The handful of people that I can vent to, cry with, understand me. (You all should know who you are😭)

Tell me one thing you are genuinely thankful for ❤️

Weep With Those Who Weep

So many times I just feel done with writing. I have so much on my mind and heart over all this. I feel like I don’t even know how to express all I’ve been through and so much I’ve learned from it.

There’s such a need for those suffering to truly have people understand how to be there for them.

You will go through suffering in your life. Not worth comparing it to me or anyone else popping up in your mind. You will have it though. That is life.

Life is not a perfect place. A life of joy, amazing health, sinless, all relationships 100% great 24/7..

It’s just not.

It’s real. It’s in the Bible. It’s full of so much.

My mind, heart, body has been through so much, and this year has just hit my extreme feelings of aloneness because of how much people think I SHOULD NEVER BE SAD… I could be worse… you know worse…. you’ve been through pain too… I need to be happy… have I been praying at all?…

Even writing out reminds me of how the majority (because there are some in my life who understand suffering- or long term sickness) of people just don’t get it.

I’m currently on a plane flying back from Arkansas (heyyy y’all!), reading my Bible, desperate to continue growing closer to God, understanding the word and feeding my soul.

There are verses right there-

WEEP WHEN THOSE WEEP -Romans 12:15

Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day. Proverbs 25:20

Ok.. reread those. Seriously, right this moment reread them. It’s only two small ones.

Are you taking it in? Are you thinking, “oh dear she should be happy?”

Having gone through the hardest part of my life (still going through it folks, just because I look “normal”), I have really drawn myself in from the so many I know.

Over and over again I’ll get bible verses sent to me, songs sent to me, “advice” of why I should be happy. How alone do you think I feel. There have been times where I’m laying in a hospital bed crying with so much happening with my body and relieving a text of “love” of why I should be thankful and “happy”.

Breaks my heart the memories in my mind still. I feel no anger towards people just sadness. I know the 100s that have sent me these kind of things will do it until they go threw sorrow, somehow their eyes are open… or they just don’t I’ve heard.

To having a miscarriage when I thought I was done with seizures, my heart disease and my platelets were good, but spoken to of why I should be happy… that I had a miscarriage is mind blowing. Happy that the baby wasn’t older before dying? Still asked constantly when I’m going to try again… starting a couple months after my last brain surgery people have been asking and haven’t stopped. STOP asking people when they’re getting pregnant. You have no clue what’s going on with them. A day after my miscarriage someone had asked me when I was going to get pregnant. Wow, how sad I still am by that. But it’s something we must learn. I had not learned this, read things like this until after my miscarriage and my inability to be pregnant because of my health. Heartbreaking. Yet I want people who haven’t been through this to learn it now or very soon.

When I was sitting in a coffee shop the other day a group of women are there. One of them starts telling a story about her husband sitting next to a guy having a grand mal… she starts cracking up and all the girls do. Over a human having a grand mal. I’m sitting there so so saddened and overwhelmed with aloneness. Imagine watching someone you know and love sitting there having a grand mal. You would be so sad. You would be so worried. Me waking up from all my grand mals and not understanding what happened and the messed up pain in my brain and body after is something you can’t imagine. To be quick to hear others laughing about so so much sickness, sickness that makes you feel sad. Makes you have such a heavy weight of sorrow… is hard.

It needs to be learned and understood by those who aren’t going through pain and sorrow right now. But don’t you want to be able to truly be there for those you know who are sad and full of so much? TRULY there for them. Not there thinking you can cure. But there to help them be alive.

I can’t imagine what kind of person I’d be if I have not been through this. I can’t. I would not be the same person I am. I would not know how to be there for people. I would probably compare things, I would probably expect them to just be happy already, I would expect them to think how cool of a person I am for doing “something”.

When you’re there to just be there and care… wow. The difference it makes.

I’ve had people I thought I trusted over the years ask how I’m going and if open up, I’d cry… and I wouldn’t hear a word back, I would hear a joke made, I would hear comparison made, I would hear a “solution” made. Slowly and slowly over so many years of this I’ve lost trust. I have such few people in my life that I know would care for me. Truly care if I’m bleeding internally, truly care if I’m in the er time after time, truly care when another thing happened with my health. Truly care even when I’m out of the hospital…

Are you thinking of anyone in your life who needs this? We need it. We long for it. It needs to be learned. All of Job is about it. It’s not made up. It’s not the nowadays thing of… happy, happy, happy!

Weep with those who weep.

Hurt and Sorrow

As I woke up this morning it was on my heart, that yes, I do need to be here for others going through suffering, going through hard times of life, going through hardness. Since my surgery happened almost 11 months ago, and I feel in no where near my old self, and not all recovered yet. I have felt so afraid by so many things, so afraid of people. I have been treated in a lot of really sad and messed up ways. Pre surgery I was able to handle being uncared for as a sick person, I could handle being gossiped about, I could handle being uncared for. I could even handle constantly compare themselves to me when they as how I’m doing.

Since this last major brain surgery, I am unable to handle those things. It was a severe traumatic experience. Everything that I just wrote about people have still been treating me in this way, Even when I could barely walk, could barely talk, was blind in both eyes (now just a quarter of both eyes), had a brain swollen for so many months, and I couldn’t do anything right. Yet, I was treated in those same ways. It’s mind blowing for me. People would look to themselves about what they wanted from me, when I physically and mentally couldn’t do anything. Could you imagine the pain and fear that caused me?

When people have opened up from me over the years about their health, from ALL over the world (crazy). I don’t just bring up my pain, I truly care for them and can only imagine what it’s like for them to have to go through that situation. I know what it’s like for them to tell me they feel alone…which is the majority of people I know or random people from social media opening up to me. People that know them aren’t even there for them. They feel so uncared for and unloved. They feel so judged.

To say that I haven’t judged anyone would be highly wrong. I know I have over the years. I know how a lot of it has had to do with me being a sick person and seeing things differently, so quick of me to judge, quick of me to want people to be “right”. Still growing in that, and I think we all will for the rest of our lives.

The extreme judgement after this crazy experience has been so hard on me. So quick to judge that I’m already healed, quick to judge that Rous and I are already thinking of having kids, quick to judge that I’m a b word with relationships, when people don’t even know the relationships. It’s been so hurtful to me and so heavy. So ready to stop this blog, ready to stop my work on Instagram. Ready to stop everything and hide so I’m not judged in the way I’m seen.

Talked to my Mom last night because I was about to have moment of reaching my threshold that really makes me a different person. She had said that even if I wasn’t as open as I am, to be there to those who suffer and to be there for those who want to learn. I would still be judged. Even if I didn’t own a phone and computer I would still be judged. The teaching we listened to today had me crying the whole time. The Lord has given us ALL a purpose and He has specific things for us. Since feeling so judged and hurt I’ve wanted to throw away every social media. But I know, I know that I have a clear purpose for these 16 years of suffering. I’ve learned SO much of how to be there for those suffering and I want so deeply for others to be there for those going through crazy hard times. I can’t just give it all up because I feel hurt and uncared for and judged. No, I just have to turn my cheek and pray to God. Give each post to the glory of God, and hopes that other humans understand how not to be there to others in the midst of suffering.

One of the things that I wish I would’ve felt encouraged by was the business I have on Instagram. I’m able to work with so many brands, meet so many people, and be able to work with areas I’m good at. Photography, editing and social media. I have felt like people thing I’m just a girl so into myself. Which I get where you could go with that. But no, I make money. While I”m at home laying flat literally, the majority of all my days. If as a christian you think I shouldn’t be posting photos of myself to make money while working at home, what do you think? Do you understand how that could hurt coming to someone who’s ill? I have a passion for editing and creating content for business, it’s SO healthy for me to be able to work in a way that I”m good at and love. If you think I’m super into myself and want to feel pretty…ha, you don’t know me. I’ve talked very specifically to the people I respect about this subject. I’ve met and reached to so many people, a lot who aren’t even saved. Who see me on social media as somebody different, but they relate because they have a job with companies like I do. Hopefully this will be my last time even talking about this. If you think I’m all healed and better because I post photos of myself, nope. I do it when able for brands to pay me, and then work on editing when I’m unable to go walk around.

I know many others who “look” normal, and are talked like they are fine and healthy because they look fine. No, we’re not. Just because we look fine, in no way means we feel good and are healthy people. I feel for every single one who’s talked to me about this or who’s reading this and gets it. If you saw me at home when I feel so sick, maybe you would stop assuming and judging. For all the sick people I speak this.

For the extreme few people who I have felt so cared for and loved during this traumatic affection of my life, wow I thank you more than could ever be expressed. To my neurologist who has to email me back constantly saying, I’m STILL recovering from this brain surgery, I thank you. Making me feel like one day I’ll be better, one day it all won’t be this hard. But, that’s up to the Lord. Whether I’m sick on this earth, God’s the one with a purpose or whether I’m healed and feel what life is really like not sick one day, then I would so highly praise God and give it all to Him.  ♥

 

 

 

 

I love taking photos of the ocean. IMG_4845.jpg

Being Real Video!!

img_5445New Youtube Video! Please Watch!

After having this video for over a week now, I’m finally going to share! The story of my life has been hard, sad, confusing, questioning, sorrowful, trusting, hopeful, passionate and desperate. I know there is a reason for EVERYTHING in our lives, and I’m so hopeful to be there. Opening up on my first video (link in bio) about my life journey, and already working on the second now! I would LOVE to get to know you, love to answer your questions, love to be there for those suffering! Those who can relate to what to say I SO want to hear it! So much love ❤️❤️

Happy Father’s Day

I’ve been meaning to write one like this for/about my Dad.

I don’t really know how to put into words how truly thankful and blessed I am by this man. He’s my strongest rock. Safest help. My greatest encourage that, “it’s ok”. The person I’ll open up to about things that I do not say. He listens, he cares, he helps me.

There are so many ways for me to talk about him, and I don’t think I can even find the words to.

Going back over the years, there’s been a lot. He’s done so much. I’ve probably caused a couple wrinkles (not that you notice any!). He’s never complained for made me feel worthless. I could start writing about before the age of 12 when I became sick, but I guess this blog is mostly open about my life going through all this.

IMG_7852 2

I remember when I started my period (shhhhh so embarrassing). I was 12 at elementary school, and it all started. None of us knew my platelets are low or we would’ve contacted a dr with the way it was all happening. Not normal to say the least. But I was at school, and called my Dad telling him I needed him to pick me up as soon as possible. He automatically says, “Did you start your period?”. How did he even know haha? I said yes, and he instantly said he was on his way to pick me up. Making me feel supported and safe. I’ll never forget this moment, mostly because it was embarrassing, but all because of how sweet he was to me. He brought over 15 pairs of pants for me. Which is so beyond funny. Such a man. And I appreciate it so much! He knew I needed something!

IMG_6221 2

He’s rushed me to the hospital all the many times these years. Bloody mouth, bloody nose, period, fevers, infections, just worried. He is eager and so willing (and I know he wants me there pretty bad too :)) to rush me. Day or night. I remember MANY nights of me waking him up and just needing physical help or needing ER times. I’m so thankful for all his work.

There have been so many times where I’ll start feeling “weird” over these years. I have had way too many “weird” feelings followed by seizures or other random health things. He calms me down every single time. Yes something may be going on, but I do not need to be as freaked out or anxiety worse than mine is. So calming and strong for me to keep going, keep fighting, keep believing. I’m so thankful for his care.

12795447_10154265165248455_3279027893551229524_n

I remember in high school my Dad and I were down by their pond (no clue what we’re doing down there), but I had had a giant bruise bleeding in my wrist. No, not like all these big bruises people like to show from getting hit. All mine are from spontaneous hemorrhaging from my ITP. Just thinking back to my young self I feel sad. I remember talking to my Dad about it, and he truly calmed me down. He wasn’t going to let me bleed to death. He wasn’t going to let me be scared for my wrist bleeding so heavily inside (I went and got one of my weekly infusions). I got to be able to sleep last night, not scared for my life. I’m so thankful how much he has and will protect me.

There have been nurses, Drs, CNAs, phlebotomists..basically lots like that in this whole healthcare I’ve needed over the years. The majority are AMAZING. But there is quit a few who have been very rude, mean and hurtful to a young girl. high schooler and sick woman needing them. EVERY single time my Dad has been there with me during moments with people like that, he will stand up for me. He will speak truth to these people. He will not act like it’s all ok to treat his daughter like that or let me go through it. This right there makes me breath a deep breath full of thankfulness and honor for him! P.S. If you’re one of my dear friends in hospitals and Drs, you KNOW how much I care and love you. I try and tell you every single time!

388634_10150513625743455_177266893_n

I can’t remember the majority of what happened to me over these past 7 months. Just visions or “shots” of an activity from my intense recovery (that I’m still going through). I remember moments from my Dad being the most helpful person I could ever express. I could barely see. I would just grab his arm and he would help me, always telling me what’s about to come as we walk. I remember about 30 seconds in Arizona of just not understanding how to wear clothes or what to put on my body. I really can’t even explain how little I was able to do things. This is when I was at the start of my inability to talk right, and he came and helped me understand the clothes to put on that day, how to put them on, if I’ll be ok wearing them. He sat with me in Arizona and “watched” movies with me all day everyday. I had no clue what was happening in movies because I couldn’t see right, understand that many words, or words even being spoken. He just sat there to be with me. Yep, another thing that makes me cry.

1175520_10151912590881565_1106517473_n

Noclue the dates or times of any of these memories, but they’re shot into my head even when the majority is gone. Very crazy to me. Months after Arizona we were watching a movie, no clue what. And I told my Dad I needed to talk with him. I was talking to him about everything I was possibly going through will all this. It’s when the side of my left was still swollen and I had zero feel of emotions. It was terrifying. I felt no emotion you could even think of. After this movie I had felt a glimpse of love. And I was telling my Dad how hard it is because I barely feel anything. I told him I know that I completely love him, but I feel none of it. You have to understand, it’s not an emotion I had to not feel these, it’s my brain being very swollen and having to rewire all of my nerves on that side. Very intense. He just helped me know that I will feel again, even though I couldn’t imagine it then. I knew it would happen. He was there for me, and cared through every thing that my brain was dealing with.

I’m so beyond thankful to have him as my father. He really is the best man, and if you know me, you know I don’t feel the need to just say things 🙂 I love you, Dad. ♥

13501776_10154257438656565_6391194592744072096_n

My heart breaks for the beautiful friends in my young life who have lost their Dad. I’m not going to write a long thing, for it is not our job to fill it with words. Someone who has not gone through this (me). I don’t ever want to say words of “encouragement” when that’s not needed or hurtful. My heart has felt very loving to my friends, very caring, and very sorrowful. It’s not just one day a year for those who’ve lost. It’s daily. Care for your friends, never make it all better. Much love to you all ♥

5 Month Check Up

There is no way I could put into words everything I’ve been through over these months. This surgery was nothing like my Drs thought was going to happen. I still wake up everyday now with all of this rushing through my mind, thinking “did this really just happen?”.

Every single brain surgery is different for people. Not all the same. When my amazing surgeon ended up taking out a lot more than expected, it made this recovery (that’s still happening no matter how much “better” I look) way harder than they thought.

I of course was going to start this by saying “I don’t remember everything I wrote in my last blog”. But I of course know what a lot of you will do bringing up your memory. I guess what I’ll bring up is to help others going through times of suffering. When you ask your friend, family member, church friend, high school person or just a girl you follow on a blog, listen, do not in an instant bring up what you went through, are going through, your grandma went through, you have a friend who could understand, or you know someone on a blog. Listen. Take it in. Do not start quoting bible verses or saying it’s all going to be “better”. Listen. Care for this human.

The things I’ve been going through for 15 years now has taught me a lot. I want to be there for others. Not in ways that cause hurt or stress to those suffering, but be there with care and love. Even as I type this I have 4 people in my mind who had wrote on my last blog that it sucks what I’ve been through and they love me. I look at that and just go “ugh, thank you!”.

Even after this last surgery that had enabled my brain not to work right. Could not talk right (still dealing with that but WAY better), could not see right at all (steal dealing with that and just saw a terrible eye dr about it, ugh pray), has ZERO emotions (it’s in the spot on my brain where all emotions come from), when people would talk they’d have to go slow or reexplain because I couldn’t understand for months, the left side of my jaw was cut before surgery so he would have room and I’m still feeling that heal up everyday when sowed back together. Rous rubbed my head yesterday and touched over on my left side and bam, nice pain feel over there. It still hurts all on my big area. Because I’m still unable to handle things said to me because it was a big traumatic experience my drs explained to me, I’m unable to handle even people saying things to me. I’ve been handling things said to me about health for all these years now so just understand, no I can’t handle this and it’s been 15 years now. Let it be.

I’ve had people bring up their animals having grand mals ( if you ever watch a human or me have them I don’t think you’d say that, people having cancer, people dying, people having brain surgery (every single one is different), people telling me I’m all healed ( mmmmm wait go to a drs app with me then), and people saying “at least I look good”. Oh wow even bringing up that last one makes me breath heavy.

When others are going through hard things, listen and truly care. Otherwise don’t say anything.

I needed to talk to someone so bad months ago. Because I didn’t understand how to keep doing this, how to keep going through my recovery. I told my Dad (who I’m obsessed with) that I need to talk to someone. Someone who has been dealing with sickness longer than me. If it’s been shorter than 15 years I’m not going to talk. If there younger than 40 I’m not going to talk as well. That’s a whole other topic :). I got to talk to sweet Peter John. He gets me. He fully understands what I just went through and have for years. To have meningitis, brain surgery and other intense diseases for 20 years makes me be able to breath and feel comfortable what he would say to me. He gets it. Beyond grateful for that encourager and example of going through sicknesses daily.

What I’m saying is those are the people I would want to talk about their sickness.

I hope this truly makes sense for others. I hope those truly suffering read this because I know how strongly their weak heart (mine) need it.

In Arizona now receiving my first check ups in 5 months. Heavy on me. Much needed though. All testing yesterday was very heavy and hard for me. Makes me want to cry now. Today I get to see my amazing neurologist who I adore and am happy for that. She will help me, calm me and explain what I just went through and how to keep dealing or future things like this. All appointments till Friday. At least I get SO much sun!

Thank you for the 100s of prayers that I know have been going. Thank you for the support I have felt in many different ways.

Again I’ll say to those hurting, I feel you. I get it. Just one day at a time. ❤️

That part of my eye has been blacked out for far too long. Hoping for healing of that! I’m literally completely blacked out there. If you hold your hand there or stand there it’s gone.

Real Talk

Most of you who have been following on here have noticed a change. It isn’t just about my health, in fact most of it isn’t even talking about my health struggles. I’d love to keep you updated and let you know what’s really going on, please watch this video I made 🙂

 

 

So since I have been working with brands that’s why you’ll see so many pictures on here. I’ve been reaching out to many, and have been contacted by lots. Hoping to make a small income off of working with them. Pass the word around if you feel up to it!

This cozy sweater is from Closet Revival! Loved going to the beach and enjoying it’s warmth 🙂

 

 

Get 20% off with code: shophannah Go check out Closet Revival!

The link to my fundraising page is here ♥♥

And please share!

 

Free People Love

 

Lavender, braids, bees, and flowy Free People ♥

 

View More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseurView More: http://dawnpiebengaphoto.pass.us/hannahbrasseur

 

I remember going on this shoot with Dawn, it was the first time we’d met, but we clicked and I adore her. She was so full of joy and made me feel so comfortable and lovely. We were in a little lavender field full of 100s of bumble bees. It was such a pleasant little time and I’m so glad these moments happen.
If you already don’t know Free People is in my top 3 favorite clothing lines. So much bohemian goodness in everything!
What is your favorite Boho brand? ♥

 

P.S. Go find Dawn on Instagram!

Inspired by Darling

Hello my wonderful friends!

This new season of my life has been pretty crazy, and dare I say wonderful?! I’ve been so blessed by all the love and support I’ve had. I’ve been so truly blessed to have a life that’s waaaaay more normal than the one I was living. Seizure free, has abled me to start living the life I’ve always dreamed of.

I’m able to have my first job at my most favorite store, Terra Firma Home. Every time I’m there I’m so full of joy. I’ve never have been able to be around people, and meet so so many new people. The only time I was around new (ish) people, was church, and Doctors/hospital visits. So this has brought me so much joy to meet new people, and talk with them.

Rous, and I have been talking about all the plans for the future that we’re now able to do. It’s so crazy. We didn’t realize how held back we were, until I was free of this. The other night at 8 PM we spontaneously drove to the coast, went to bed in our Subaru in the back, woke up at 5 to watch the sunrise.. Of course it was too cloudy and foggy so we explored the ocean. Had such good quality time. We’ve never been able to do things like that because I was too sick. Did this make me extra tired? Yes, but my seizures didn’t double up because of the lack of sleep. Now we can’t wait to see what the future hold for us!

I’ve alway have had a desire to truly be a light to this world. I’ve learned so much from all of this, and want to inspire girls, and others who are suffering. Since having more energy and the ability to do more things, this desire has really increased. I’ve been reaching out to so many people to encourage and help, with just life, and I’m so grateful for it.

I want to share my story with so many, but have never really been able to grasp how. A little over a year ago this article I wrote at Darling Magazine, was chosen to be featured. It’s been so encouraging to me to remember that that happened. I love Darling, and the message they portray of natural, and healthy beauty. I hope to get more involved with them and other businesses like that. If you have any advice please contact me ♥

I have so many dreams for life, and I slowly feel like things are coming forth. I know so many of us have dreams and desires, and we just think that they will never happen so we don’t take a leap of faith. Well, I’m telling you, as a girl who suffered so badly from seizures. And was unable to do so much with my life. Is now taking my leap into new beginnings, you should too! I still have two diseases, but I really want to experience life, so I’m not letting those drag me down.

I hope and pray that you take your leap of faith. If you want to talk more please contact me. ♥

Click HERE to read the Darling post.