January 15th

Hi friends! As my first post I just wanted to let you know what my life looks like. I’m 22 (almost 23 in a couple weeks!), married to an amazing man named Rousseaux (Roo-so), his brother, Xavier (Zav-ee-air) lives with us, they both have super weird (cool!) names I know. I spend most of my days trying to find something to do. Cleaning the house, deep cleaning the house, writing letters, cleaning some more, laying in bed, going on Pinterest, laying in bed. I’ve been sick for 11 years now with a disease called ITP. Basically my body sees itself as bad and is killing my platelets off. Platelets are what control bleeding. Normal people have between 150,000 to 400,000. You can start bleeding internally, randomly at 50,000. Mine like to stay under 10,000. So i’m constantly in danger of bleeding inside. It’s so hard on me physically. I’m constantly so tired, constantly concerned i’m going to have bleeding in my brain or stomach. i’m kinda over it. I’ve tried many different medicines and my body just doesn’t respond anymore. I recently just applied at a place called the Gerson Institute. It’s 100% all natural, which my body could use some natural help. Basically what it does is cleanses your body of years and years of filth that it has been exposed to so there’s no room for disease to live. I’m so excited about it! They called today to say my application as been submitted and we’ll be sent to the Drs there, to see if they’ll take me and can help me. It’s 5,500 dollars a week. Insurance doesn’t pay for it of course because it’s not in America and because it’s natural. So frustrating that insurance only sees modern medicine as helpful…or just beneficial for them. I would have to raise $17,000. If i’m suppose to get accepted, I will. If i’m suppose to get the money raised, I will. I know the Lord really is completely in control. If He’s going to use this to heal me, He will. It’s hard for me to not feel discouraged after so many years of trying different medicines and feeling so many years of sickness. Continuing to trust the Lord through it all has been hard and there are times that I truly failed to do that. It made me question everything, but the Lord was faithful through it all. I’ve grown so much and would not be the same person if I hadn’t gone through all this. I’m thankful that i’m not who I once was. I don’t see things like most people my age and i’m able to relate to others who are going through sickness and struggling with loneliness. My desire to be done with my disease has rekindled inside me and i’m really trying to trust the Lord and seek what i’m supposed to do during this time. Right now i’m just taking a leap of faith with the Gerson Institute. Trying to live life day by day and not dwell on tomorrow so much.